'College Road Trip' has nowhere to go
( USA TODAY )- The tagline for College Road Trip is "You Can't Get There Fast Enough."
But for those who sit through this humorless and massively predictable movie, a more apt phrase would be: "You Can't Get Out of There Fast Enough."
College Road Trip is nearly as hellish as taking a long trip with a bus full of karaoke-happy tourists. Actually, that's one of the gags. Another involves a pet pig that disrupts the wedding of a portly woman, resulting in food splattering everywhere and a bride who gobbles up the mess.
If those jokes don't make you laugh uproariously, there's the incessant mugging of Martin Lawrence as an overprotective father who abuses the perks of being a police chief to keep tabs on his teen daughter, played by Raven-Symone.
Father and daughter travel from Chicago to Washington, D.C., for a college interview at Georgetown University. High jinks ensue. Only a running joke about the mating habits of gazelles comes close to inducing a grin.
The best that can be said about Road Trip is that it's harmless, G-rated fare. And the cute piglet will bring Babe to mind. But that resemblance reminds us that family films need not be an insult to our intelligence.
Since when did harmless become synonymous with brainless? Family-friendly films should be just as cleverly written and well-acted as their counterparts aimed at mature audiences. You couldn't find a more enjoyable, endearing film for the entire family than 1995's Babe. And you probably won't find a less enjoyable family film, nor one as formulaic and ill-conceived than College Road Trip.
We recommend taking a pass on the road trip and indulging in something a bit more old-school: a trip back to the farm. Gather the family, pop Babe into the DVD player and enjoy.